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Cheap Shots: Pack Tracks

Even though Raleigh was probably a consistent city for Jim Crockett Promotions and The Horsemen in more ways than one, I’m not sure how many tapings or live events centered around the kind of wrestling that my colleagues and I cover on this website ever took place at NC State University. Given their prime generation, I can only imagine how many after hours shows the boys participated in when cameras weren’t pointed at the ring in this city. Spit balling, Vinnie’s current circus most likely does live television from half-a-dozen to a dozen college campuses per year. Last night’s SmackDown Live was for those in The Wolfpack. Shall we join them in the hunt?
Hard camera shot finds a ladder in the ring, Samoa Joe’s music greets the crowd as the tough talker goes between the ropes. His first act was to climb the ladder and remove the briefcase from it’s tempting position, reminding perspective opponents of the ultimate purpose of the encounter in Chicago. After doing this, Joe climbs to the mat and drops The Biblical Story of Jacob’s Ladder on Daniel Bryan while striking down the Heavenly details for The Yes Man. “No light, no Angels at the top of this ladder for you.” Until now, the final slot for the Men’s Money in The Bank Match had yet to be filled.
Joe mentioned Daniel’s family one too many times, bringing The Bearded One from the back to respond. Except he didn’t wanna talk. He wanted to fight. A wrestling show was seconds away from putting a main event in place of a curtain jerker! The winner would be given the last opening in MITB. Then Big Cass comes out to wreck the vibe. He tells us that he has talked to GM Paige and he gets an opportunity to qualify for MITB upon receiving medical clearance from the leg injury he suffered in London. Surprise, The Long Island Redwood is cleared to compete and throttles both competitors as confirmation. Cut backstage and Renee Young catches up with The Sexy Goth Chick who backs up Cass’ claim. Our Main Event is now a Triple Threat Match. Winner gets a one-way ticket to Chicago.
Before heading to break, we find The Challenger for WWE Gold walking the halls with a set of cards numbered from 1 to 10. After scattering them, Shinsuke Nakamura was ready for action. Let’s go to Twitter to find his opposition? Not kidding, when The Con Artist set the parameters of his latest shot at Gold, he took up temporary residence on Sesame Street. He was trolling AJ Styles with a tweet asking him how high he can count. The harassment was intercepted by The Forgotten Perfect 10, Tye Dillinger.
Talk about an ignored athlete. Outside of one random promo, we haven’t seen him in months. There are rumors flying that Dillinger is headed back to NXT and I’m wondering why? Shinsuke is so physical, and the dude gave him a fight to be proud of. He survived multiple “ten-counts” before succumbing to The Kinshasa. I see why NXT marks love him. Come on Vince. You can’t find something useful for a pro like this? That’s on you. We see it. Anybody else think Tye Dillinger would be an interesting fit in Impact?
Two recess segments last night. Starting with a “Dance Off” between Naomi and Lana. Both Ladies brought their full compliment of backup. There was no way this was ending clean. If I must cover the goofiness of this segment, each lady can move in her own way. Rusev’s better half is classically trained in ballet. She may truly have a more flexible skillset than that. How many in ballet can break into pure breakdancing just because? Jimmy Uso’s wife is a former NBA Cheerleader whose athleticism has led to Women’s Gold in New York.
Now that that’s done, do we have reason to believe Lana’s deer in headlights look is almost gone when it comes to in-ring physicality? The ladies did a tandem spot that ended with The Ravishing Russian giving The Glow Worm a neck breaker. Then she got up and slapped the taste out of Jimmy’s mouth. Yes, she got beat up and took a rearview from Naomi. That’s not the point. Lana doesn’t look quite so scared, and that’s a big deal for her!
More female flavor as Mandy Rose had consequences for disrespecting Paige. When will these girls learn? What was The Pound for Pound Pinup’s punishment? Oh nothing. Just a showdown with Asuka! Despite absorbing an assault from Sonya Deville; which gave Rose the advantage throughout the match, The Japanese Ace was displaying enough offense to remain dangerous. Eventually securing her personalized submission for the tap out victory. PS: For some strange reason, Corey Graves keeps forgetting his marital status when Mandy Rose competes. It’s alright man, we’ve all got ours. Now, quit talking crap about mine!
Six-Man Tag Was next. Of course the primer segments involved pancakes. The Unicorns were being served by their new assistant Mr. Bootyworth. The other locker room found Mike trying to catch breakfast that was being flung at him by both members of The Bar. This was supposed to remind us that Mike got “shamed” last week. Doesn’t he get shamed every week? Anyway, the match itself was a typical coin flip. Kofi Kingston took quite a bit of heat. Eventually, Big E got the tag. Extended Tag Matches are designed to break down, and this was no exception. Most memorable spot? Mr. SOS jumping off the top rope to the outside taking both Bar members out. This left Big E inside alone with Mike to deliver The Big Ending and get his win back. We still don’t have a clue which member of The New Day will enter the namesake fight in The Windy City.
As was established when SmackDown kicked off. This week’s last act was a Triple Threat Match for the final spot in Chi town. These matches are built around false finishes and broken pinning combinations. Even though most of them aren’t exactly believable. Daniel and Joe did most of the heavy lifting. If Cass wasn’t 7’’0’ tall, would WWE even look at a performer with his move set? Some of it probably stems from his knee surgery. He looks really stiff in the ring. Bryan’s intensity, nor the loyalty of his supporters have wavered one bit. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for him in this instance. Samoa Joe got the win by putting his Clutch on Daniel after the underdog knocked Cass out with a running knee. Overall, we’ve left fun tracks on campus. Now it’s time to party before hitting Charlotte in the morning so we can see an old friend in Houston next week.
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MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.
The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.
Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.
Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!
In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.
“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.
Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!
Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”
For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!
Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!
This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media. You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first. But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape. These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.
Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:
- It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
- Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
- Will people click on it? (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)
A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story. The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences. Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into). Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing. That’s it. Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us. There is literally no other there there.
Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw. Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)
Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania. It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling). Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines. Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from. Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories? And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here? The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias. Here they are:
Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway
This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement. That’s it. Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right? She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think. Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.
Rebecca Quin, I don’t care what the script says, I’m beating the living shit out of you the next time I see you.
— Ronda Rousey (@RondaRousey) February 28, 2019
Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road
A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE. Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.
Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania
We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it. That’s it. I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning. But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right? Which leads to the next brick:
Ronda Rousey can’t take losing
She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home. There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.
Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky
Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her. So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling. Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.
Now we have the proverbial feedback loop. We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing. Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen. Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe. If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence. Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.
Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:
Plans changed.