Cheap Shots
CheapShots: Shakedown, Breakdown, Let’s Bust ’em Up Once!
Cheap Shots are unfiltered, uncensored opinions, and those opinions reflect only the author!

Mad Man still finding beads in strange places as we hit the east coast. Must’ve been the Bay Area Transplant soaked in neon. That was a good kind of turbulence, even though I can’t remember most of it. This turbulence is horrible and strong as I circle The Evil Empire’s Back Yard. Hold on tight. I’ll push us through the confusion. Passengers should keep their air sickness bags and oxygen masks close. They may need them to absorb some of the shock of Round 1 of The Superstar Shakeup. My apologies in advance for any disappointment as we circle Hartford.
Monday Night Raw opens with GM Kurt Angle promising a big night of movement and some unexpected twists. This is no surprise. Most sheep have been through several of these. Let the current Earthquake in The WWE Universe begin! Angle doesn’t reach five minutes into his promo when he is interrupted by a pointless mouthpiece, Sunil Singh? Yes, cue the bags. Unfortunately, sheep and smart marks have to put up with Jinder Mahal on Mondays. Although, one of us who swings chairs regularly was probably doing cartwheels.
The Indian Brooklyn Brawler came to the ring spouting demands and asking why he wasn’t brought to Raw in a limousine. Two Questions: 1. When did he turn into Saint Richard? 2. Is he forgetting that Vince McMahon is propping him up because WWE is in fact lazy? Angle tries to have a reasonable conversation with him. Mahal continues to come off as blown up as he actually is. Saying repeatedly that he is better than anyone on Monday nights. Never mind how obnoxious that statement is. His runt takes his mic, insisting that Angle give his email out publicly. Finally, Kurt cuts everyone off, telling Mahal that both he and The United States Gold were brought here to compete at a higher level. Quick aside: Expect Seth Rollins to wind up on SmackDown Live tonight because The Blue Brand is missing a championship.
In fact, Jinder was going to put The Gold up right now! These “impromptu” matches are always fun. Especially when a heel must shut up and compete. Who steps up to answer the call and put The New Lombardi in his place? How bout The Charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy! The match was relatively even except for them trying to in inflate Mahal’s credentials. No need gentlemen, the steroids and Vinnie’s stupidity have already done their work. Cynicism when watching contests like this always sits in the back of my mind. “Are they really gonna switch The Strap here?” YES SIR! Hardy is The NEW United States Champion! I’m hoping this isn’t just to give the cheap PPV in the desert a justifiable title change. I know better than to be optimistic though. At least Jeff can celebrate his decision making for two weeks.
Multiple recess segments: Let’s go ladies! First up, Ember Moon against Mickie James. The satellite surrounding this match felt a bit forced. What else is new for Stamford? Why can’t a heel get beat and just disappear for a while? Even though she kinda did last night. The combatants from The Raw Women’s Title match at Mania were supposed to be on commentary. New Champ Nia Jax held up her end. Big Fine’s foil did not. Alexa Bliss is cowering in the back. They cut to her and she did a split-screen promo whining about The South Pacific Queen being a bully and making her feel unsafe. GOOD! Honestly, they could’ve saved or scrapped it. Almost forgot, The Lunar Lone Star won the match clean with The Eclipse.
The second appearance from the feminine roster got screwy. I’m not surprised, Sasha Banks was involved. Let’s pick on her after she busts her ass for 15 mins. Sasha and Bayley were scheduled to have their first opposing in-ring encounter on The Main Roster last night. Why is The Female Dragon not allowed to progress in storyline like a logical character? Odd vibes from the start as someone botched a spot in the corner. Come on girls, pick it up. The match felt dead, outside of a brutal double-knee strike from inside out while The Human Elmo’s head was posted. Excuse me, some of this s*** has to hurt! Later, Sasha had Bayley ready to tap. However, The Bank$tatement came back incomplete as The Riott Squad had to make their RAW debut and assault the former friends. Why do you ladies matter again? “No female heel can get over on this side of the roster unless they beat up Sasha Banks. PS: What she did in NXT does NOT matter. Under NO circumstances can she be made a heel to stand on her own.” DAMMIT VINCE! Why did you send this internal memo? I wanted to slap you after Memphis in AUGUST. Now, I’m hoping The Legit Boss puts you in the hospital!
Serious mark out moment, my most worked apologies to Vince McMahon. Final Bad Ass Chick portion of last night’s RAW started with a backstage shot of GM Kurt Angle talking to The Next Rowdy One, interesting…He tells Ronda that he has a surprise addition to the roster that she may like. Enter Natalya? Yeah, they trained together before Rousey’s arrival. Nattie wanted to say hello before her first RAW match in quite some time, seed planted. As of writing this, two-thirds of Absolute Yawn are still present on Monday. Mandy Rose was tasked with meeting Ronda’s Trainer in a singles match with Sonya Deville ringside. A bit unexpectedly, The Queen of Hearts put the Pound-For-Pound Pinup in The Sharpshooter and beat her clean. Not so unexpectedly, the remaining tired ones jumped Nattie after the bell. Who’s gonna make the save. Like an idiot, I’m sitting here doing the algebra. “Charlotte just lost Gold on Smackdown. It’s gotta be her?” WRONG! Joan Jett blasts, and Ronda Rousey is PISSED! Hey Sonya, wanna be a work bad ass? Fine, meet a real bad ass! Half-a-dozen shots and one leg sweep that mimics a clothesline with the right camera angle and slow eyes, and Ms. Deville was laid out in less than a minute. Makes sense: Give Ronda an ally early who will eventually turn heel, so she can beat her up, and work her way into the real roster. Not disappointed at all. I am saddened the weekly installment of real wrestling is over.
The second men’s match of the night saw Heath Slater & Ryno take on The Authors of Pain. The First SmackDown Live Tag Champs were given a pre-recorded promo, why? They had no need for such a promo. After a brief flashback to relevance in terms of actual offense, the mismatched pair was destroyed by The Authors of Pain in approximately ten minutes. The next segment was bizarre for two reasons. Most obviously, WWE’s Yin-Yang Twins, Woken Matt & Bray Wyatt. The weirdoes were taking on The Revival for the right to challenge Shamus & Cesaro for Tag Team Gold in the desert. Predictably, Hardy and Wyatt won. I doubt very seriously that they were supposed to come across as normal here, but they did. Why? The Bar was on guest commentary. Go back and listen. If this is not proof announcers are scripted and pointless, I am Einstein. If The Europeans weren’t having a script shoved down their throats, they appeared verbally high and confused. Sadly, this was not their biggest embarrassment of last night. They had a match with Breezango. They did the opposite of win clean. No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you.
Time to break down multiple promos and the fallout from the bread of the promo sandwich. The meat meant nothing. First, our favorite fake actor said prior to the show that he was bringing WWE-altering talent to the next Miz TV. The Miztourage and their fearless leader come out to start the segment. After a dose of Miz arrogance, he brings out Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn?? They’re not fired? Thanks to technology and dastardly heel work from The Wicked Witch. The Obnoxious Canadians produce an email overriding Kurt Angle’s decision from last week. An aggravated GM comes out to break up the party. Informing The Miz that it was his last night on RAW. His consolation prize was to have Dallas and Axel leave him to take the pin in a ten-man tag. Now Daniel Bryan can beat the crap out of him!
Earlier in the night, Dolph Ziggler came out to no reaction. Great, same carpenter run, different day. Wait…who’s this? Just Titus Worldwide. Why are all these morons in the same ring at the same time? No Titus, the guys in your corporation will not form an Oreo moving forward. Unfamiliar music hits? Wait, Who? It can’t be! Drew Galloway! For the second time in two weeks, Vince McMahon brings a performer back to WWE that had Championship success in Orlando. Speaking of something that happened last week; Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe cut an identical promo to the one they did seven days ago. Perfect, I ran out of Nyquil, and I need to pass out. I promise to land the plane first. Hopefully, tomorrow’s flight to Providence will be less scattered.
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Cheap Shots
MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.
I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.
The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.
Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.
Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!
In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.
“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.
Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!
Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”
For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!
This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media. You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first. But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape. These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.
Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:
- It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
- Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
- Will people click on it? (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)
A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story. The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences. Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into). Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing. That’s it. Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us. There is literally no other there there.
Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw. Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)
Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania. It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling). Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines. Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from. Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories? And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here? The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias. Here they are:
Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway
This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement. That’s it. Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right? She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think. Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.
Rebecca Quin, I don’t care what the script says, I’m beating the living shit out of you the next time I see you.
— Ronda Rousey (@RondaRousey) February 28, 2019
Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road
A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE. Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.
Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania
We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it. That’s it. I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning. But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right? Which leads to the next brick:
Ronda Rousey can’t take losing
She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home. There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.
Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky
Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her. So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling. Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.
Now we have the proverbial feedback loop. We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing. Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen. Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe. If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence. Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.
Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:
Plans changed.
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!


