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Top 5: Wrestling Weddings

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The Royal Wedding was the talk of the world last weekend. Either you were all wrapped up in Prince Harry, Meghan Markle & all the drama surrounding them, or you couldn’t care less & kept complaining about people talking about them. Once upon a time, I would have been among the latter crowd, but these days I find myself interested in things like royal weddings. The Crown got me interested for the most part, but Netflix isn’t the only thing playing a role.

I happen to find the concept of royalty interesting. I wouldn’t call myself a monarchist, but I do yearn for the days when leaders at least tried to act dignified & polite. Maybe they weren’t behind the scenes, but they attempted to set an example for the public to follow. Today’s leaders are the complete opposite.

I also find myself enjoying weddings more than I once did. As each day passes, the likelihood of my getting married diminishes. I could be bitter & whine about everybody else finding love while I walk along the boulevard of broken dreams. My teenage & 20s self would go along with this plan. Instead, I find joy in other peoples’ happiness. There’s something beautiful about a wedding. It contains all the promise of tomorrow & new beginnings. There’s none of the cynicism & foreboding of dark times ahead.

Well, that isn’t always true. It certainly isn’t true in pro wrestling. Wrestlers often try to find love amongst themselves, and sometimes we end up with weddings scheduled as worldwide television events. Since they’re wrestlers & happen to be complete psychopaths, things typically go off the rails. There’s no real promise of tomorrow & new beginnings for these poor souls. All we can hope is that their suffering entertains us.

These are the top five weddings in wrestling history.

5. Betty Hanson & George Wagner

Wagner was an undersized but talented wrestler early into his career when he met Betty. They decided to get married at one of George’s shows, and when it drew a bigger house than normal, they took it on the road to other venues. The story says that this is when Wagner figured out that pro wrestling would benefit from more entertainment, and began developing a more charismatic & flamboyant ring persona. Eventually, Gorgeous George was born, and the business was never the same.

4. Elizabeth & “Macho Man” Randy Savage

The Match Made in Heaven co-main evented SummerSlam ’91 alongside the Match Made in Hell. The ceremony itself was relatively uneventful, and to be honest went a bit long for everybody’s liking. What we remember is what happened at the reception, when Jake “The Snake” Roberts presented the newlyweds with a king cobra.

This led into one of the classic feuds of my youth, and one of the classic syndicated TV segments of all time with Jake’s snake taking a bite out of Randy’s arm. Unfortunately, Randy & Elizabeth’s love didn’t last much longer than his feud with Jake did.

3. Billy & Chuck

Who says WWE isn’t progressive? Back in 2002, SmackDown hosted a commitment ceremony involving their top tag team. Billy Gunn & Chuck Palumbo had been working the whole “tag team partners that are frequently secretly fond of each other” gimmick. One thing led to another, and a commitment ceremony was scheduled for an episode of SmackDown. GLADD got on board with it because they were very gullible…everybody knew this wasn’t going to go off without a hitch. Sure enough, Billy & Chuck got cold feet & blamed their stylist Rico for getting them into the mess. Then we found out the minister was actually Eric Bischoff, and it was all a set-up for a 3 Minute Warning beatdown.

For a segment that seemed like it had no potential for anything good, it actually went all right.

2. Lita & Kane

There was all kinds of ridiculousness leading into this, since it was a love storyline in mid-2000s WWE. Kane decided he was in love with Lita. Matt Hardy took offense. Kane beat up Matt a bunch, kidnapped Lita & impregnated her, then beat Matt in a match where the winner got to marry Lita. Could you imagine WWE trying to do this now? Stuff like this is why I’m glad PC & PG are things.

At least the wedding was an entertaining piece of business. Kane wore white & Lita wore black. The priest had a unique ear piercing. The best man & flower girl were little people. Eric Bischoff read from the Bible. Kane declared that Lita would always be his property. Lita said she would always love Matt Hardy. SO MUCH HILARITY!

WWE posted the wedding allegedly in full on YouTube, but left out the best part…Trish Stratus as Maid of Honor.

Honestly, Trish should be enough to make this number one now that I’m thinking about it. Totally second-guessing my decision here.

Honorable Mention: Edge’s Weddings

If anybody in wrestling history would be involved in multiple in-ring weddings, it would be Edge. The guy reached main event status once he accepted the fact that he was a manwhore. First it was Lita. The whole business with her & Matt Hardy sky-rocketed his stock, and even though his attempted wedding with her ended with Kane tombstoning the priest, the message was sent.

After Edge’s relationship with Lita ended, he moved on to Vickie Guerrero. We figured that Edge’s feelings for Vickie had more to do with her status as SmackDown General Manager than anything else. We were proven right at the wedding reception. Triple H showed a video of Edge cheating on Vickie with the wedding planner, Alicia Fox. Somehow the marriage lasted for months afterwards, but the result was divorce.

Fortunately, his real-life marriage with Beth Phoenix is going better.

Honorable Mention: Joyce & Uncle Elmer

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper’s attempt to break up the wedding didn’t work, but Jesse Ventura’s commentary of the ceremony remains one of the great performances by an announcer in television history. Just fantastic stuff by The Body.

1. Stephanie McMahon & Test

Remember The Union? It was a short-lived union of people you oughta respect, Shane. They won a match and got the right to book matches for themselves. Test, instead of putting himself in a wrestling match, opted to book a date with Vince McMahon’s daughter, Stephanie. Probably a smart move for a young wrestler. What better way to get on the boss’s good side than by treating his daughter well? It didn’t work out great. Brother Shane took offense to the relationship, leading to a memorable “Love Her or Leave Her” match at SummerSlam 1999.

Once that business was settled (and once they figured out what to do after Vince Russo left for WCW & took whatever idea he had for all of this with him), the engagement began. Plans were made for a wedding on a live episode of Raw. Test was so confident things would go well that he even demanded a match with Triple H earlier in the evening. He won there, but Triple H would have the last laugh at the end of the night.

Triple H stole Test’s thunder & emerged with Stephanie McMahon’s hand in marriage. Eventually, Stephanie revealed that she was actually on Hunter’s side, and Test was left with…well, not much really. His career never reached the heights it could have had he been a storyline McMahon family member.

It was during the McMahon-Helmsley Era storyline that unfolded afterwards that Stephanie McMahon & Paul Levesque fell in love for real. Had things gone another way, with Stephanie married to Test, not married at all, or somebody other than Triple H getting the nod, who’s to say that they would have ever gotten married in real life?

Where would Triple H have gone as a WWE Superstar had they not gotten together? Would he have 14 world championships to his credit? Probably not. It’s safe to assume he wouldn’t be where he is on the corporate totem pole. He never would have had any say in talent development or acquisition. NXT certainly wouldn’t be a thing, at least not in its current form.

Had Stephanie McMahon stayed sober at her bachelorette party, WWE would be a much different place. That’s why her wedding to Test that was botched due to Triple H marrying her beforehand has to be number one on any list of wrestling weddings.

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Opinion

Chris King: Was Randy Orton Simply Repeating History At WrestleMania 42?

Could the WWE WrestleMania 42 results for Randy Orton lead to repeated history at Backlash?

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Randy Orton Cody Rhodes WWE WrestleMania 42

Could the WWE WrestleMania 42 results for Randy Orton lead to repeated history at Backlash?

WrestleMania 42 Night One is in the rear view, as Cody Rhodes retained his WWE Undisputed Championship. While Pat McAfee tried to involve himself in the title match, Jelly Roll took his ass out. Randy Orton utilized every single move in his arsenal and even the champion’s to win his fifteenth championship. Unfortunately, due to Pat’s shenanigans, Orton was unable to get the job done, and Rhodes secured the victory. 

There have been rumors about Orton and Pat vs. Rhodes and Jelly Roll in a tag team match at this year’s Backlash PLE. It wasn’t until after last night that got me thinking, what if they repeat history when Orton won the championship in 2009? Orton, along with Legacy (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase Jr.), made it his life’s goal to destroy HHH and the McMahon family all the way up to WrestleMania 25. Orton punted both Vince and Shane and even hit a DDT on HHH’s wife. Stephanie. The psychological games weren’t enough though, as Orton didn’t win the title then either at Mania. 

The next night on Monday Night Raw, Batista made his long-awaited return to the ring to help HHH against Legacy. In the weeks leading up to the event, Rhodes, Orton, and DiBiase Jr. would get the upper hand, destroying everyone. HHH would put his title on the line in a massive six-man tag team match alongside Shane and Batista versus Legacy. If Orton’s team won the match, then he would win the championship. 

What if this huge stipulation were placed on the rumored tag team match, and Orton found a way to win the WWE Championship at Backlash? The WWE Universe might not be happy about the way Orton wins the title, but as long as Orton gets his fifteenth title, does it really matter? Maybe punting Rhodes was just the start of Orton listening to the voices and doing whatever he has to do to win the championship?

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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Opinion

Chris King Looks Back: WWE WrestleMania 36

Chris King takes a look back at one of the most surreal wrestling events of all time, 2020’s WWE WrestleMania 36!

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WWE WrestleMania 36 Drew McIntyre Brock Lesnar

Chris King takes a look back at one of the most surreal wrestling events of all time, 2020’s WWE WrestleMania 36!

As we get geared up for WrestleMania 42, one of my favorite things to do is go back and watch previous Manias and find that special magic again. Six years ago, we were living in a worldwide pandemic and nothing felt the same.  WrestleMania 36 was supposed to be held in Tampa Bay but, unfortunately it took place inside of the Performance Center. 

For the first time in WWE history, WrestleMania was split into two nights, which would become a constant going forward. Each night would feature a plethora of matches including Goldberg vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship, Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens, AJ Styles vs. The Undertaker in a Boneyard Match, and Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Championship. 

On Night one, one of the greatest bouts with an incredible build would be ‘The Messiah’ Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens. Rollins had been fighting for the greater good flanked by The Authors of Pain and Buddy Matthews and blatantly destroying Owens on multiple occasions. Rollins portrayed the perfect manipulating heel here.

The resilient ‘Prizefighter’ was so sick of Rollins’ crap that he challenged him to a match at Mania. What started as a simple match, quickly turned into an all out brawl with no disqualifications. Both superstars fought all over the ringside area, and KO would climb off the huge WrestleMania sign and hit a massive elbow drop! Owens would pick up the huge victory over The Messiah. 

Braun Strowman would challenge Goldberg for the Universal Championship in what was relatively a squash match. Roman Reigns was supposed to challenge Goldberg, butdue to health concerns, he took a hiatus from WWE. ‘The Monster Among Men’ would take four massive Spears from the veteran and retaliate with four running power slams to win his first Universal Championship! 

The main event of night one saw The Undertaker battle AJ Styles in a really fun and chaotic boneyard match. This dream match was supposed to take place in front of 75,000 screaming fans but, this was truly the perfect ending to Taker’s illustrious career. Styles had some massive balls calling out his opponent by calling him by his official name and disrespecting his family. ‘The Phenomenal One’ just kept poking the bear all the way into their match. Watching Styles arrive in Undertaker fashion inside of a coffin and give a maniacal laugh was hilarious. All the games were over after Taker rode in on his motorcycle to beat his ass! 

The Deadman would have to face off against The OC, and even his druids to shut his opponent up once and for all. Taker delivering a massive chokeslam and tombstone piledriver on the roof was a sight to see. Taker kicked Styles right into his own grave and rode off into the darkness, as usual! The Undertaker cross symbol blaring through the fire while Metallica plays was iconic! Taker would be so satisfied with the cinematic match that he would formally retire later that year! 

Night Two of WrestleMania 36 was awesome and electric, as Edge faced off with his greatest former friend now rival Randy Orton in a last man standing match, John Cena faced off with ‘The Fiend’ Bray Wyatt inside the Firefly Funhouse, and Drew McIntyre looks to win his first-every WWE championship from ‘The Beast Incarnate’ Brock Lesnar! 

Edge made his shocking return at the 2020 Royal Rumble, after a career-ending neck injury. Randy Orton was excited to see his former Rated-RKO partner but he quickly put a stop to a reunion in a disgusting manner. Orton delivering a vicious Concerto to Edge and hitting an RKO on Beth Phoenix brought back flashbacks to ‘09 Orton and his feud with Triple H! 

‘The Viper’ came out of nowhere disguised as a cameraman to hit an RKO to start the match. Orton was a mastermind here playing the sinister antagonist to Edge’s comeback story. Both superstars went to war throughout the performance center in a hard-hitting performance. Orton choking out Edge while saying “I’ll always love you, man” was just vile and really fun to watch. Edge finally got the advantage in the gym area using the machines to gain some revenge. 

They fought through the backstage areas, a boardroom all the way to the top of an NXT production truck. Orton hitting his signature draping DDT on the bed of a pickup truck was nasty. The Viper tried to Punt Edge’s lights out but, got hit with a massive spear. Edge got the final shot hitting Orton with a devastating Concerto to win the match! 

John Cena entered The Firefly Funhouse for one of most spectacular cinematic masterpieces of all time. This match was a cinematic journey of John Cena’s history within the company, and looking back at his greatest failures. It was so interesting to see how his future could have been way different had he turned heel, instead of maintaining being a babyface who was shoved down our throats for years! Bray Wyatt as ‘The Fiend’ finally got his comeuppance after Cena refused to put him over at Mania 30. 

Wyatt was red-hot at that time but, Cena gave him his greatest defeat of his career. The Fiend may not have been created if it wasn’t for this loss on the grandest stage of them all. Wyatt would defeat Cena and go on to become the Universal Champion months later. 

The final match of the grand event was Drew McIntyre defeating Brock Lesnar to win his first WWE Championship. After Lesnar’s impressive performance at the Royal Rumble, McIntyre humiliated him by eliminating him and punching his ticket to the biggest match of his career. The way WWE hyped McIntyre is very similar to how they are hyping Oba Femi right now. They made him look like an unstoppable beast. 

The match started with a free trip to Suplex City followed by a F5 for a kickout at one! Lesnar’s eyes grew wide as his opponent kept coming back. ‘The Scottish Warrior’ would not stay down and, The Beast was getting pissed. McIntyre would ultimately slay the beast hitting four massive Claymore kicks to win his first WWE Championship! Paul Heyman has a look of shock and disappointment as McIntyre poses with his title. What a way to end WrestleMania 36! 

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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