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CheapShots: Impact Quickie #11

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Roughly once a quarter, those in Orlando put work into a wrestling-centric Television Special to help accelerate storylines. This episode of Impact fell in that category. It was given the tagline, “Under Pressure.” Due diligence compels me to organize my thoughts as follows: There were no tag team matches on the card. Only one vignette covered anything in the division. I will provide more details next week. There was no sign of Jimmy Jacobs, Kongo Kong. or Moose. Keep in mind, The Dragged-Out Disco was added to our mystery attacker’s hit list to conclude last week’s show. Speaking of which, Sanjay Dutt can now join him as the latest victim. Unfortunately, organizers thought it necessary to include my sleeping pill in this otherwise solid offering. The Edwards’ had yet another domestic dispute regarding Sami Callihan. Can someone please wake me up?

There were only five matches on the card. It is nice when wrestling can tell a story by itself. We knew last week that Eli Drake and Scott Steiner were on shaky ground when they couldn’t get through a promo without arguing over who lost Tag Team Gold. Even so, part of me still thought they would get a rematch. So much for logic. The match was slow because of Ham Cube’s limitations. They swapped the advantage only one with Steiner getting it on the outside. When Steiner rolled back into the ring, The Self-Induced Hyphen grabbed a steel chair and gave him a receipt for losing the straps. Thanks to a clueless ref, Eli Drake got the win.

Finally, Brian Cage was back in The Impact Zone! He was coming off his “World Tour” to help with personal and company exposure. Thanks to a victory last week, Dezmond Xavier got the chance to test himself against The Machine. Despite knowing Xavier wasn’t going to win, this was gonna be fun to see. How much rope would the kid get? How do his skills translate against bigger competition? I can say this. His speed is next level and his feet are dangerous for a typical rival. Weapon X isn’t exactly typical.

There wasn’t time enough to give the cruiserweight a false advantage. Although Dezmond did hit what could be considered a finisher, but Cage kicked out after a one-count. Shortly after the successful high spot, Xavier was compromised and got caught with The Drill Claw to give The Machine the three-count. Josh Matthews also mentioned that Cage would get a shot at Matt Sydal and X Division Gold down the road. Let the countdown commence.

My fans and readers; (I may have some, GASP!), who know my level of respect for ladies working in the art form will understand my purpose for covering The Main Event for Impact Gold here. Personal suspicions that Pentagon Jr. was nothing more than a band-aid were confirmed. Austin Aries attempted three finishes with The Last Chancellery. The Defending Champ was able to crawl to the ropes and break two of them. The third happened on the floor. Aries held on too long, forcing a double count out. Challenger takes the mic; asks for a restart and gets it.

Earlier, The Champ set up for his Package Piledriver WHILE WALKING ARIES TO THE ROPES! I HATE the physics of wrestling! Pentagon got a two-count. After the restart, The Luchador hit A Pentagon Driver on the apron’s edge. This led to ANOTHER double count out. This time, Pentagon asks for and gets the restart. In a blink, he takes a nut shot followed by A Brain Buster to lose Impact Gold. I HATE the physics of wrestling!

Two shots of recess this week. First, The Horsewoman had to answer for her attitude and her disrespect of Madison Rayne. When A Blanchard is involved, an attitude comes with the territory. Madison has a career very few can rival. Former 5-Time Knockouts Champion. However, nobody watching thought this would be the upset of the night. Tessa’s strength advantage was obvious. Her challenger had to put everything she had into her offense. Tully’s Girl took a couple of shots that were stumble-worthy, but the match was one-sided. Until Tessa argued with the ref after a near fall. Upon the distraction, she went for her Hammer Lock DDT only to get school-girled and take the loss. Excuse me? I don’t understand this?

Why would those in Orlando give Tessa Blanchard the Brock Lesnar treatment? Madison Rayne is not 50-years-old. Follow me anyway. No matter what level badass the WWE makes him, Brock Lesnar still lost to Goldberg 18 months ago. Impact brings Tessa Blanchard in with all this hype and asks her to lose in her second match with the company? Madison Rayne is not beating The Knockouts Champion. Ladies interested in competing as a baby face should put a video on Impact’s Twitter timeline ASAP.

Why am I so confident in the above statement? Same reason a twig with major limitations can impersonate Mark Calloway and Mick Foley. It’s time to battle for Knockouts Gold in A “Last Rites” Match. Translation? This is a Casket Match. Can someone say stacked deck? We All knew how this was going to end. Allie did a fantastic job in the absence of her friend Rosemary. Without The Demon’s protection, I was worried the contest’s psychology would be too much to overcome. Her mind was fully prepared for the situation. The Yin-yang entrances and wardrobes were spliced together as a solid armor against The Undead Bride. Psychology was not enough though. How the Hell does a twig stop someone stronger than her from closing a casket?

Say it with me. We have a New Knockouts Champion thanks to The Mandible Claw and wrestling physics. With all due respect to Madison Rayne, those in Orlando are pushing Su Yung so hard that it will take a special character or athlete to knock her off. Frankly, I don’t see that person on the roster right now. Unless it is Rosemary herself. After all, neither woman who was just buried is fired or dead. My final thoughts? I would’ve flipped the outcome for Tessa Blanchard and had the Impact Championship fight end in a way that actually made sense. Otherwise, it was a very cool wrestling show, and those are always fun.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will

Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

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Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.

The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.

Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.

Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!

In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.

“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.

Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!

Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”

For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Fake News

Rob: Ronda Rousey & The Makings Of A Wrestling Newz Story

RONDA IS NEWZ!

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WWE Ronda Rousey UFC Championship

Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!

This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media.  You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first.  But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape.  These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.

Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:

  1. It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
  2. Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
  3. Will people click on it?  (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)

A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story.  The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences.  Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into).  Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing.  That’s it.  Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us.  There is literally no other there there.

Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw.  Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)

Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania.  It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling).  Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines.  Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from.  Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories?  And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here?  The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias.  Here they are:

Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway

This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement.  That’s it.  Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right?  She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think.  Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.

Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road

A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE.  Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.

Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania

We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it.  That’s it.  I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning.  But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right?  Which leads to the next brick:

Ronda Rousey can’t take losing

She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home.  There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.

Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky

Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her.  So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling.  Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.


Now we have the proverbial feedback loop.  We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing.    Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen.  Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe.  If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence.  Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.

Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:

Plans changed.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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