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The Worm Hole Diary

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Alexa Bliss

Right now, I feel a bit like Stewie Griffin in one of his time traveling escapades on “Family Guy.” I can’t tell you anything. Don’t know where I am. Last thing I remember, I was headed to an episode of SmackDown Live somewhere in Mid-South Territory. I woke from a bad dream of Bill Watts fining me two months pay for missing shows, only to find myself stuck somewhere between Area 51 and The Bermuda Triangle. Wait, is that JBL’s beach house?

Never mind. Legitimate Alien Technology is centered around mental telepathy. As a result, there are no computers as we know them here. Everything is hard wired into each organism’s brain. Even the brains of those that have been abducted. As you read this, understand that it was converted from high consciousness and sent down to a computer in New Jersey for decoding. Drawbacks to communication at this level include the fact that details are sparsely memorable and big chunks of time are missing. This is a very strange wavelength, even for me. Let’s see what we come across in this dimension.

It seems my captors have condensed my mental capacity, allowing me to cover only “one thing” in the art form. Timing and circumstances bring one topic to the front of my modified mind. Others among my colleagues are generally better at covering single topics. I do not mean to step on any toes, though that is physically impossible. Those who know my wrestling heart are well aware of where my passion for the current art form lies. Given marks of all forms just came off Money in The Bank; not to mention the interesting feel surrounding Knockouts Gold, now might be the only time I can do this. It could be an abject disaster or a complete blast. Please stand by and be patient.

Vinnie’s circus is first up. Naturally, we left Chicago with a New Raw Women’s Champion; and of course, she was not in the original contest for The Gold. We should know by now that a briefcase is WWE’s equivalent to LSD. Logic should have also told us that Carmella is too protected to be threatened seriously right now. With that gap filled in and borderline irrelevant in my head, Monday’s Title would be making The Kessel Run, but under who’s ownership? Enter Alexa Bliss after a fabulous spot fest of a Ladies Money in The Bank Match.

With Braun Strowman being the obvious exception, when is the last time a baby face held a briefcase? Anyway, where would Little Miss Math Class cash in? How long would we have to wait? Going into Chicago, some of us felt like something funky was on deck. Ms. Rousey was being hot-shotted. Even in smarkish logic, this was excessively fast. Baddest Woman on The Planet needs an authentic feud. Feed her The Champion. Wait, what? Ronda was seconds away from making Nia Jax tap out. Except, Stamford hasn’t made big angles predictable in 20 years.

I know I overthink things and want rules in my wrestling that make most of you roll your eyes. Laughing can begin upon the conclusion of reading this paragraph. In my opinion, there are two sizeable flaws in Vinnie’s conceptual execution. First, cashing in the contract on the same night it is won is a band-aid that allows creative to coast. No other sport allows something like this. Save the: ”It’s not a sport” argument for someone who would actually let you win it. I know it’s a work. Professional Wrestling CAN AND SHOULD be presented more like a sport. What does this mean in this case? Simple, have the briefcase itself be defended like Championship Gold.

Vince refers to his product as “Sports Entertainment.” Fine moron, “entertain” us by requiring that the contract holder must WRESTLE to keep it. Sorry Sir, I know booking logically makes your head explode.

What happens if the briefcase is used like this? Ronda Rousey is a huge name in sports. However, she is not placed in the title match of this PPV because there is no need to put her in the picture yet. You have her for multiple years Vince, not five minutes. She is not a prostitute. Someone else is in the contest for Nia’s Gold. Little Miss Math Class can then sit on the briefcase or Ronda can challenge her for it the next night. Alexa then tells her to get in line because someone else beat her to it. Ronda can spend months chasing Bliss, the briefcase, or both. Maybe all the way through the Royal Rumble. I’m just a smart mark. What do I know? How’s this? One of the core complaints of fans like me is that heels get handed Gold too much. This stops if they work beyond one match for it. Instead of stretching this out and drawing money, all Vince McMahon did last Monday was devalue a division, a champion, her Gold, and her “Pink-Haired Ass” by letting Ronda Rousey destroy Alexa Bliss so quickly.

Speaking of devaluing a Championship. We come to SmackDown Live and my favorite dartboard, Carmella. Move Shuck & Jive all you want honey. I’ll still cut promos on you every time I look at you. Not because anybody in New York wants me to, but because you are perfectly content portraying someone who doesn’t belong in a wrestling ring athletically. Fans are stupid enough to boo you as opposed to walking out on a promo or a match of yours. As much as Vince makes me hurl, fans can be worse and completely oblivious. Fifty percent or more of the sheep who boo you have the requisite hormones to buy your gear, so Vince keeps you around. Nothing personal, Wayne Farris made me cringe with a lot less than you have.

Called this after The Go Home SmackDown. Blondie Circus was going over in Chicago. The questions were how and why? How was simple enough. Let’s bring Carmella’s lap dog back to New York and put him in drag because the rest of her East Coast work friends got shoot fired. Can someone say bad investments? Back to the current debacle. Not only is James Ellsworth back under The Big Top. Barry Horiowitz Jr. was Asuka’s doppelganger to thwart The Japanese Ace’s attempt to gain SmackDown Women’s Gold. What is it with Vince McMahon and guys in drag? Don’t forget, The Human Ankle Biter got the s*** kicked out of him at Indie Shows all over Texas by The General and Leader of The Thunder Army, Thunder Rosa.
We’re supposed to take HIM seriously? Asuka came in with a two-year streak that would make Goldberg proud. She has to forget her whole aura and put a six-year-old with boobs over because of HIM?? Her NXT self would’ve chewed them up and spit them out. Now, a baby face Asuka can’t think like a badass or an athlete because we must put Carmella over until at least Survivor Series. SummerSlam has had screwy finishes dating back to 1993. Calling it now. Everybody should be prepped.

Blondie Circus will have SmackDown Gold coming out of there. Never mind what we do with the strap. What happens to Asuka? She looks clueless right now.

Vince will probably start to fix it Tuesday. Sheep will probably forget it by October. I DON’T CARE! Why did it happen in the first place? I could see a heel turn. What happens to the belt at that point? Charlotte? Maybe, love her ability. Becky’s getting a decent push. Want a dark horse? Keep an eye on Sonya Deville. Why? Just a vibe. She has tweeted: “Put your hair up and square up” as a motto. We all know Carmella’s in serious need of a fight.

A recent subtle wardrobe change could put millions more fans behind her if a baby face turn is done correctly. If The LGBT Community wants a badass to look up to; why not Sonya Deville? It’s already there, and very little would feel like a work if Stamford pulls the trigger the right way.
My captors have enabled one change of brain waves and I still can’t go home.

Let’s go to Orlando instead. The Knockouts Division feels very weird right now. Mainly due to Su Yung and her “Undead Bride” gimmick being pushed so hard on top. I must be more respectful of her then I have in the past because performers who I know and like on social media respect her game. It’s tough though. My eyes and brain have been connected to the art form for decades. Only two workers have successfully pulled this level of this gimmick off without it feeling like bulls***. They were both dudes and unquestioned legends. Impact had to be careful with her if they were going to bring her in. In my opinion, they have failed in that task.

How does an organization take Gold from a character like this? Without serious help, which is yet unseen, it won’t be Madison Rayne. Wrestling doesn’t do obvious anymore, and sheep want complicated now. Except, there aren’t enough Knockouts to do complicated. Let me try anyway. Madison was brought back to put Tessa Blanchard in her place. Blanchard herself is nowhere near a baby face right now. Kiera Hogan is too young and may not actually be on the roster presently. Unless they bring back Taya Valkyrie from Hawaii and turn her, there is only one practical answer right now. She is in an impractical situation though. I wanna see if Diamante can work, but she is tied up and being wasted with a distracted LAX.

I have one more ET Based Theory. Fight fire with fire. Sometimes zombies tangle with each other. There are two very good ones on the indies. The Twisted Sisters: Thunder Rosa & Holidead. How does a “Bride” deal with her own “kind?” I WISH we could find out. Bless The Dead Angel & The General. Their time is coming! Sadly, those in Orlando will probably kill my stream of consciousness buzz and bring back Allie and Rosemary to take her out. This is not a bad thing, just less fun to spit ball about.

I am not an insider people, just a Super Mark with a passion and unique thoughts about the art form and the way it’s presented. Unfortunately, those in captivity are about to have their thought processes overridden for tonight. The Aliens have informed me that they will grant me temporary release to attend SmackDown Live in MY HOUSE next week. No planes necessary, thanks Falcon! As for writing, this was a well-timed one-off to let The Internet Wrestling Community know I still have a pulse. I will let those swinging chairs know when The Aliens allow my full-time return. Thanks everyone, I hope you had a good time with this article. Been wanting to do something spotlighting recess for a while now.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will

Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

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Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.

The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.

Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.

Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!

In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.

“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.

Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!

Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”

For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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Fake News

Rob: Ronda Rousey & The Makings Of A Wrestling Newz Story

RONDA IS NEWZ!

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WWE Ronda Rousey UFC Championship

Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!

This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media.  You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first.  But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape.  These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.

Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:

  1. It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
  2. Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
  3. Will people click on it?  (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)

A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story.  The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences.  Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into).  Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing.  That’s it.  Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us.  There is literally no other there there.

Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw.  Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)

Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania.  It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling).  Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines.  Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from.  Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories?  And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here?  The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias.  Here they are:

Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway

This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement.  That’s it.  Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right?  She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think.  Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.

Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road

A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE.  Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.

Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania

We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it.  That’s it.  I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning.  But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right?  Which leads to the next brick:

Ronda Rousey can’t take losing

She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home.  There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.

Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky

Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her.  So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling.  Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.


Now we have the proverbial feedback loop.  We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing.    Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen.  Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe.  If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence.  Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.

Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:

Plans changed.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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