Opinion
Cook’s Top 5: Contract Signings
With the contract signing being a big part of wrestling, Steve Cook explores the Top 5!
With the contract signing being a big part of wrestling, Steve Cook explores the Top 5!
All Elite Wrestling’s very first public contract signing is taking place this week on Dynamite. Le Champion Chris Jericho & American Nightmare Cody will put their names on the likely non-dotted line to meet at the Full Gear event in Baltimore. I’ve been pretty pro-AEW & very pro-anything involving Jericho and/or Cody lately, but here’s the thing:
I hate contract signings.
I could go the rest of my life without seeing another one pretty easily. WWE’s really done the gimmick to death over the years, as it seems like they have one every couple of months for matches of all levels of importance. It’s one thing to have it for a PPV World Championship match. It’s another to drag it out for an Intercontinental Championship match or tag team match or something.
They’re all very predictable too. You know it’s going to involve a number of sick burns and somebody’s going to get beat up.
I need to try & get over this irrational hatred. WWE’s going to have another one in a couple of weeks anyway. So let’s jump in the time machine and look back at the Top 5 Contract Signings to remind ourselves why wrestling promotions hold them incessantly.
5. Bret Hart & Yokozuna sign to meet at WrestleMania IX
Mean Gene Okerlund was on point as the host here. He implored both men for decorum and ran the show. President Jack Tunney was out there and Okerlund seemed more like an authority figure to me. Except when he stumbled over the ropes while getting out of the ring.
The Hitman’s assertion he would be 100% for the match took a hit when Yokozuna attacked him. Bret impressed us all by eventually standing up after taking the Banzai Drop. That hadn’t been done up until that point.
4. Hollywood Hogan exposes Rowdy Roddy Piper prior to Starrcade ’96
The New World Order engaged in more than its fair share of beatdowns during its existence, but this was definitely one that stood out from the pack. Hogan & Piper’s Starrcade match was so big that the contract signing had to be on PPV as well, as World War 3 played host to it. Piper had changed a little bit since the last time he had wrestled, and Hogan & the NWO showed us how.
People were going to find out about the hip anyway, so it made sense to include it as part of the storyline. Hogan attacking it & spray painting Piper’s leg made him that much more despicable & made you want to see the Rowdy Scot take his head off.
3. Vince McMahon signs the contract for the End of an Era match with Steve Austin’s blood
There weren’t many more bitter feuds than the one between Stone Cold Steve Austin & his boss, Vince McMahon. It propelled the WWF to the the top of the Monday Night War and to bigger business than it had ever seen. But all good things have to come to an end, and Austin vs. McMahon had to end or else one of them was going to end up killing the other. So Austin’s match with the Undertaker was to have three stipulations:
-First Blood
-If Austin wins, Vince never appears on television again
-If Undertaker wins, Austin never gets another title shot
So, of course we needed a contract signing to make sure everybody agreed. And of course, there needed to be blood involved in the signing.
Vince liked doing this so much that he did a variation of it with Hulk Hogan prior to WrestleMania XIX. Shame he didn’t think to do it before WrestleMania 23.
2. Batista signs the World Championship Match contract for WrestleMania 21
When Batista won the 2005 Royal Rumble, he received the opportunity to face the top champion of his choosing: SmackDown’s WWE Champion JBL, or Raw’s World Champion Triple H. Evolution was still running strong with H, Batista & Ric Flair at this point, but Triple H was a bit afraid that the big man wanted his title. He first tried to convince Batista not to enter the Rumble, but that was a non-starter. Then, Hunter devised a plan to have Batista nearly hit by a white limo with horns on it that resembled one that JBL would ride around in. It almost worked, until Batista overheard H & Flair talking about how well the plan worked in the locker room. Womp womp.
Batista switching the thumbs up to the thumbs down was one of those amazing moments you love to see as a wrestling fan. Finally, the Animal was going to snap on his mentor. It’s easy to see why people thought he was going to be the #1 guy in WWE through the rest of the 2000s.
1. Hulk Hogan finally gives Andre the Giant a title shot at WrestleMania III
It’s extremely rare to see one of these televised contract signings end without fists being thrown, but that’s exactly what happened at the Hogan/Andre contract signing prior to WrestleMania III. Hogan’s crucifix had already been torn off, so Andre didn’t need to engage in any more physicality. The Hulkster was beside himself with rage. Bobby Heenan was in classic Bobby Heenan form.
It didn’t need violence. The way Andre brushed Hogan off did more to convince people that the Giant was going to win the title in the Silverdome than anything else he could have done. Hogan’s behavior told a better story of his mindset going in than an attack on Andre would have. Maybe it could have used a better set, but other than that it was perfect.
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Opinion
Chris King: Was Randy Orton Simply Repeating History At WrestleMania 42?
Could the WWE WrestleMania 42 results for Randy Orton lead to repeated history at Backlash?
Could the WWE WrestleMania 42 results for Randy Orton lead to repeated history at Backlash?
WrestleMania 42 Night One is in the rear view, as Cody Rhodes retained his WWE Undisputed Championship. While Pat McAfee tried to involve himself in the title match, Jelly Roll took his ass out. Randy Orton utilized every single move in his arsenal and even the champion’s to win his fifteenth championship. Unfortunately, due to Pat’s shenanigans, Orton was unable to get the job done, and Rhodes secured the victory.
There have been rumors about Orton and Pat vs. Rhodes and Jelly Roll in a tag team match at this year’s Backlash PLE. It wasn’t until after last night that got me thinking, what if they repeat history when Orton won the championship in 2009? Orton, along with Legacy (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, and Ted DiBiase Jr.), made it his life’s goal to destroy HHH and the McMahon family all the way up to WrestleMania 25. Orton punted both Vince and Shane and even hit a DDT on HHH’s wife. Stephanie. The psychological games weren’t enough though, as Orton didn’t win the title then either at Mania.
The next night on Monday Night Raw, Batista made his long-awaited return to the ring to help HHH against Legacy. In the weeks leading up to the event, Rhodes, Orton, and DiBiase Jr. would get the upper hand, destroying everyone. HHH would put his title on the line in a massive six-man tag team match alongside Shane and Batista versus Legacy. If Orton’s team won the match, then he would win the championship.
What if this huge stipulation were placed on the rumored tag team match, and Orton found a way to win the WWE Championship at Backlash? The WWE Universe might not be happy about the way Orton wins the title, but as long as Orton gets his fifteenth title, does it really matter? Maybe punting Rhodes was just the start of Orton listening to the voices and doing whatever he has to do to win the championship?
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Opinion
Chris King Looks Back: WWE WrestleMania 36
Chris King takes a look back at one of the most surreal wrestling events of all time, 2020’s WWE WrestleMania 36!
Chris King takes a look back at one of the most surreal wrestling events of all time, 2020’s WWE WrestleMania 36!
As we get geared up for WrestleMania 42, one of my favorite things to do is go back and watch previous Manias and find that special magic again. Six years ago, we were living in a worldwide pandemic and nothing felt the same. WrestleMania 36 was supposed to be held in Tampa Bay but, unfortunately it took place inside of the Performance Center.
For the first time in WWE history, WrestleMania was split into two nights, which would become a constant going forward. Each night would feature a plethora of matches including Goldberg vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship, Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens, AJ Styles vs. The Undertaker in a Boneyard Match, and Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Championship.
On Night one, one of the greatest bouts with an incredible build would be ‘The Messiah’ Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens. Rollins had been fighting for the greater good flanked by The Authors of Pain and Buddy Matthews and blatantly destroying Owens on multiple occasions. Rollins portrayed the perfect manipulating heel here.
The resilient ‘Prizefighter’ was so sick of Rollins’ crap that he challenged him to a match at Mania. What started as a simple match, quickly turned into an all out brawl with no disqualifications. Both superstars fought all over the ringside area, and KO would climb off the huge WrestleMania sign and hit a massive elbow drop! Owens would pick up the huge victory over The Messiah.
Braun Strowman would challenge Goldberg for the Universal Championship in what was relatively a squash match. Roman Reigns was supposed to challenge Goldberg, butdue to health concerns, he took a hiatus from WWE. ‘The Monster Among Men’ would take four massive Spears from the veteran and retaliate with four running power slams to win his first Universal Championship!
The main event of night one saw The Undertaker battle AJ Styles in a really fun and chaotic boneyard match. This dream match was supposed to take place in front of 75,000 screaming fans but, this was truly the perfect ending to Taker’s illustrious career. Styles had some massive balls calling out his opponent by calling him by his official name and disrespecting his family. ‘The Phenomenal One’ just kept poking the bear all the way into their match. Watching Styles arrive in Undertaker fashion inside of a coffin and give a maniacal laugh was hilarious. All the games were over after Taker rode in on his motorcycle to beat his ass!
The Deadman would have to face off against The OC, and even his druids to shut his opponent up once and for all. Taker delivering a massive chokeslam and tombstone piledriver on the roof was a sight to see. Taker kicked Styles right into his own grave and rode off into the darkness, as usual! The Undertaker cross symbol blaring through the fire while Metallica plays was iconic! Taker would be so satisfied with the cinematic match that he would formally retire later that year!
Night Two of WrestleMania 36 was awesome and electric, as Edge faced off with his greatest former friend now rival Randy Orton in a last man standing match, John Cena faced off with ‘The Fiend’ Bray Wyatt inside the Firefly Funhouse, and Drew McIntyre looks to win his first-every WWE championship from ‘The Beast Incarnate’ Brock Lesnar!
Edge made his shocking return at the 2020 Royal Rumble, after a career-ending neck injury. Randy Orton was excited to see his former Rated-RKO partner but he quickly put a stop to a reunion in a disgusting manner. Orton delivering a vicious Concerto to Edge and hitting an RKO on Beth Phoenix brought back flashbacks to ‘09 Orton and his feud with Triple H!
‘The Viper’ came out of nowhere disguised as a cameraman to hit an RKO to start the match. Orton was a mastermind here playing the sinister antagonist to Edge’s comeback story. Both superstars went to war throughout the performance center in a hard-hitting performance. Orton choking out Edge while saying “I’ll always love you, man” was just vile and really fun to watch. Edge finally got the advantage in the gym area using the machines to gain some revenge.
They fought through the backstage areas, a boardroom all the way to the top of an NXT production truck. Orton hitting his signature draping DDT on the bed of a pickup truck was nasty. The Viper tried to Punt Edge’s lights out but, got hit with a massive spear. Edge got the final shot hitting Orton with a devastating Concerto to win the match!
John Cena entered The Firefly Funhouse for one of most spectacular cinematic masterpieces of all time. This match was a cinematic journey of John Cena’s history within the company, and looking back at his greatest failures. It was so interesting to see how his future could have been way different had he turned heel, instead of maintaining being a babyface who was shoved down our throats for years! Bray Wyatt as ‘The Fiend’ finally got his comeuppance after Cena refused to put him over at Mania 30.
Wyatt was red-hot at that time but, Cena gave him his greatest defeat of his career. The Fiend may not have been created if it wasn’t for this loss on the grandest stage of them all. Wyatt would defeat Cena and go on to become the Universal Champion months later.
The final match of the grand event was Drew McIntyre defeating Brock Lesnar to win his first WWE Championship. After Lesnar’s impressive performance at the Royal Rumble, McIntyre humiliated him by eliminating him and punching his ticket to the biggest match of his career. The way WWE hyped McIntyre is very similar to how they are hyping Oba Femi right now. They made him look like an unstoppable beast.
The match started with a free trip to Suplex City followed by a F5 for a kickout at one! Lesnar’s eyes grew wide as his opponent kept coming back. ‘The Scottish Warrior’ would not stay down and, The Beast was getting pissed. McIntyre would ultimately slay the beast hitting four massive Claymore kicks to win his first WWE Championship! Paul Heyman has a look of shock and disappointment as McIntyre poses with his title. What a way to end WrestleMania 36!
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MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)
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